Book Release

Apparently, La Coultera's evil twin Enna has written a new book: If Republicans Had Souls, They Would Be Democrats. Perhaps you've seen Enna promoting her book on television show after television show after television show, in print, on the Web, on the radio, consistently complaining how the media ignores her?

The book starts with this arresting claim, before going on to provide some insightful analysis, based (evidently) on a quick--if not random--perusal of a couple of databases, and a substantial commitment to an alternative reality:

When I see the hot spittle flying from their mouths and the veins bulging and pulsing above their eyes, well, that’s when I feel truly alive.

Of course, Enna is quite good at generating that kind of reaction. Some object to her approach, based on a dearth of information, misinformation, made-up information, lies, caricatures, a remarkable ability to avoid arguments, rhetorical excess, and a marvelous inability to recognize self-reference. (For instance, the other day she complained about conservatives paying too much attention to language, while apparently not noticing that she makes her substantial living using language and objecting to those who don't use it correctly--that is, paying quite a lot of attention to it.)

She puts conservatives into a bit of a bind, however: those liberals who like their red meat--or tofu--love her stuff. Those conservatives who denounce her end up providing her just that much more support among the true believers--yet ignoring her (which is hard, given the level of media exposure she receives while bewailing her lack of media exposure) seems to be capitulating to her more egregious claims. Quite the dilemma.

In any case, those liberal true believers have come to rely on her acerbic tongue to make points that aren't otherwise allowed in polite society, so I thought I'd provide some of Enna's lines here, for those who worry about supporting such views publically, while holding them privately:

Men with small penises like to play dress-up. Especially on aircraft carriers dressed up as fighter pilots, and in Texas dressed up as cowboys.

I see that Jenna Bush is getting married. Hope the fiancé likes re-treads--party girls in Austin have usually been around the block a couple of times.

It takes a great deal of courage to send young men and women to their deaths for no obvious reason, and then suggest that if one of them criticizes such a policy that they are traitors. While honoring their service, of course. Their service as cannon fodder.

Spending money on preventative health care, and early health care, is cheaper than other approaches, not to mention more moral. Conservatives call it "socialism," while they call funnelling billions of dollars to political contributors' corporations "capitalism." They no doubt can't see that invisible hand while it is in the pocket of those who don't have access to political power. They also apparently fell asleep reading Smith's On the Wealth of Nations, or were too hungover to understand his argument.

When running against someone with three purple hearts who was actually in combat, make fun of those decorations and hope no one notices that the greatest danger you faced during Viet Nam was getting a DUI in Alabama while avoiding the National Guard service that allowed you to avoid Viet Nam.

Drunken frat-boys who find Jesus may be redeemed, but should they really be allowed access to nuclear weapons?

Conservatives hate affirmative action. Except maybe in those cases where the kid's dad is President, Grandpa was a Senator, and the kid himself isn't really good at much except driving businesses into the ground. In that case, giving him a hand up really isn't giving him a hand-out.

The combination of Clarence Thomas's affection for pornography and the willingness of the Administration to spy on American citizens sets up some intriguing possibilities. Do you think Thomas will be interested in viewing "The Larry Craig Tapes"?

Apparently, when a science problem gets really tough to solve, or explain, conservatives expect God to snap his--definitely his--fingers to provide the solution, or explanation. This way God will reward those who object to the icky kinds of science done since, say, 1860.

Conservatives like black and brown people as long as they don't vote, don't talk, and bring the wine to the table on time.

Clearly these kinds of things are beyond the pale; it is understandable why conservatives object to such attacks based on little but innuendo and character assassination. One wonders why the author of these things is allowed such access to the media, and is so lionized--and so defended--by liberals. Have they no shame?